More Than That
by Jaimi
Summary: ELF. Lucas' unpredictable behavior confuses the crew. Will they understand before it's too late?
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: First off, thanks to Nevermore for beta reading this. Awesome job, as always.  
Now, this is an ELF, with much the same idea as most ones, but with different twists and stuff, so please   
read and review. Thanks!   
  


More Than That

  
  
Chapter 1  
By: Jaimi  
  
Lucas slammed his fist into the cold steel wall in his quarters. Why him? Why was his life so unfair. Why couldn't they all just leave him the hell alone?   
  
He sighed, slumping down onto his bed, falling back. He rested his head on his pillow and closed his eyes. Willing his life away, or maybe willing himself away. Far away, where no one knew his name, no one even spoke his language, so they needn't "talk" just live happily. Swimming with dolphins and playing basketball.   
  
He smirked at his unrealistic, and even corny, dream. Oh well, that's all it would ever be, a dream. Of course it was more realistic than the other dream. The dream that gnawed at him every moment of his worthless life... To be loved. To be wanted. To have a family... Somebody, anybody, who accepted him for who he was, who knew of his past and loved him anyway...or even better, never had to know of his past. Most didn't, and didn't like him anyway, so that really didn't matter.   
  
He sighed again, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. It had been a long day. Everyone who used to think he was useless...well...still did. He was useless...his skills however... Lucas, do this. Lucas, do that. Lucas, behave! Lucas, Lucas, Lucas.   
  
So many people had asked him to do things, and he'd gotten them all done without so much as a thank you...not that he'd expected that anyway, but he'd never gotten around to his original task, and now the captain was pissed.   
  
'Great! Why the hell not?' he thought, bitterly. 'This is me after all, someone has to be pissed, I have to screw up sometime every day.'   
  
He groaned, sitting up. The captain had told him to go to his quarters and sleep. He had a whole load of work for him to do tomorrow to teach responsibility, seeing as he couldn't have even accomplished the simple task Bridger had asked of him. Of course Bridger didn't know about the kazillion other projects piled on him by the rest of the crew, and Lucas just didn't have the energy to tell him, not that he'd listen anyway, no one ever listened.   
  
With a wince from his sore back from bending over to fix the gym's cooling unit for 3 hours, Lucas made his way to his computer. The Captain had told him to forget it, he'd have someone else do it in the morning, but Lucas refused to allow someone else to do what was his responsibility. Sure he'd have tons of work from Bridger tomorrow as threatened, but he had to do this. Bridger may be stern, but he was a good man, and had put up with Lucas since he came aboard. Lucas figured he owed him this much as he began to work away at the problem.   
  
He worked straight into the early morning hours, and once he was finished, didn't even bother to walk to his bed, as he let his head drop into his arms and he fell asleep on his work bench. The task was complete.   
  
************************************************************************   
  
"Mr. O'Niel, can you get to work on that computer glitch I told you about?!" Bridger asked the next morning as he entered the bridge.   
  
Tim looked up, confused. "Sir, you asked Lucas to do that."   
  
Bridger sighed, rubbing his hands over his face, "That I did Lieutenant, however, Lucas wasn't able to do it."   
  
"Well Sir, besides the fact that I can't believe Lucas wouldn't be able to fix any computer problem, he did sir....At least someone did."   
  
"What do you mean?"   
  
"I checked the system this morning sir; it's fixed."   
  
Bridger furrowed his brow, then shook his head.   
  
"Hmmm... Okay, then, continue as normal, O'Neil, thank you."   
  
"Yes sir," Tim said, going back to monitoring his terminal, knowing it had to have been Lucas that had fixed the problem. It wasn't done late last night, but was fixed this morning. No one could do it that fast except the kid.   
  
"Problem Sir?" Ford asked, approaching his puzzled Captain.   
  
"Huh? Oh no, Commander..." He paused, looking thoughtful, "No one else could have had that system fixed that fast could they?" He finally asked his XO.   
  
Ford didn't need to think about that one. Everyone knew the answer. "No sir, it had to have been Lucas...but I didn't see him since 2330 last night."   
  
"He must have done it in his quarters, which would have taken longer than normal, which means the little bugger was up all last night." Bridger shook his head. "Why would he do that?"   
  
Jonathan shrugged, but answered best he could. "I dunno sir, maybe he felt bad about not getting it done, when he got everything else done for Kristen, the Chief, Ben and Shan."   
  
"Everything else? What everything else?"   
  
Ford looked at him, surprised. "Well I came across him several times yesterday at different tasks. They'd asked him to help them out with some things. I asked him when he was getting the program fixed. He gave me this look and said not to worry, he'd get it done."   
  
Bridger looked surprised, worried and little guilty at this news. "All right, thank you Commander, you have the bridge."   
  
************************************************************************   
  
Bridger didn't have to go far, when he came upon Lucas making his way toward the bridge. His appearance was normal, baggy jeans, and black T-shirt, soft blonde hair brushed back, a few bangs falling into his normally bright blue eyes. His eyes, however, were now dull and glossy, no doubt from lack of sleep and staring at a computer screen all night.   
  
Bridger felt a swell of both pride and parental worry. He hadn't known the kid more than a month, but he already felt the need to protect him...and he wasn't sure why. The kid was cocky, arrogant, sarcastic, standoffish, didn't seem to care about anyone, or anything...but at the same time, the Captain caught a glimpse of the boy under all that, beyond the in-your-face attitude.   
  
He saw it when Lucas was working on his latest project in the lab, or when he was playing with Darwin. He had a gentle spirit under that tough cover. Bridger sensed there was a kind, caring, sweet natured little boy somewhere in that teenager, with eyes that reflected wisdom and experience beyond their years.   
  
"Lucas." Lucas, who had been off in a daze, jumped a foot at the Captains voice. This alone also bothered the Captain. The boy was very jumpy for a cocky 15 year old, but he didn't have time to ponder that. He was more concerned about the dark circles under the youth's eyes.   
  
"Take it easy, Kiddo."   
  
Lucas semi-relaxed at the sight of his Captain standing before him. He bristled at the scrutinizing look he was receiving from him though. He hated people looking too closely at him - he was always afraid they would see through his mask, the fake front he put up.   
  
"What?" Lucas said, a rude tone to his voice.   
  
Bridger ceased his survey of Lucas, raising his eyebrow at the boy's tone.   
  
He recalled the first day they'd met. Lucas had been just as mocking and rude then, but when Lucas had come to convince him to stay, the boy had eased off slightly on the attitude. And it hadn't been that bad since then, but some days it came back full force, often worse than before.   
  
"Pardon?" Bridger asked.   
  
Lucas rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. He looked away from the Captain's commanding gaze, "Whatever."   
  
"We can stand here all day until you address me more properly."   
  
Lucas gave him a withering look, "So sorry, _Captain_ Bridger _Sir_. What can I do for you?" His tone was mocking, and the Captain reined in his instinctual anger. He had a feeling it would do him no good with this kid.   
  
"Watch it pal, or you can help Halton scrub the urinals."   
  
"Hmph, yeah right. You'd need me before I even got to the second one."   
  
"You think so? I believe this boat was handling fine before you came along."   
  
"I believe it also took you twice as long to do anything."   
  
At this Bridger remembered the reason he'd gone looking for Lucas. The same reason the boy's eyes were glazed with lack of sleep. He decided to ignore the his sly comments, and let him win this one. Arguing with the teenager was more tiresome than dealing with drunken sailors in a brawl.   
  
"Did you sleep well last night?"   
  
Bridger grinned at the look on the boy's face. He had totally caught him off guard. He quickly hid his smile at the dark scowl.   
  
"I slept just fine."   
  
"Mmmm-hmmm. So, you up to full days work then, as well as fixing that system from yesterday."   
  
Lucas didn't blink. "Yes."   
  
Bridger raised his eyebrows. Damn this kid was stubborn.   
  
Before Bridger could say anything, Lucas made to pass him. Bridger quickly grabbed his arm, "Hold up kid-"  
  
Bridger was caught by surprise when the boy tensed up, jerking away from the Captain, and backing hard into the bulkhead, wincing. Bridger instinctively released the boy's arm, watching in concern as the his breathing evened out again from the sudden sharp intakes he'd caused, and the color returned to his pale cheeks.   
  
"What do you want?" Lucas asked, his voice catching as he tried to recover his arrogant tone.   
  
Bridger was bewildered. This boy was a mystery to him, a mystery he intended to solve. What could make this boy go from having a huge, I-don't-need-anybody attitude to looking so scared and small it was heartbreaking?   
  
"For you to take it easy first of all. And for you not to lie to me."   
  
Lucas tensed. "I don't have to take it easy, and I'm not lying to you."   
  
"Don't give me that, Lucas. You didn't sleep a wink last night, you fixed that program."   
  
"I wasn't lying to you, I _did_ sleep, and I slept quite well thank you."   
  
Bridger looked at him skeptically.   
  
"I did...after I finished fixing the program, I got some sleep."   
  
"When was that Lucas?"   
  
"How the hell should I know?"   
  
"Watch you're language son. And where did you sleep, in the chair, by your desk?"   
  
The boy suddenly looked lost, as well as angry. "I'm not your son."   
  
With that he walked away, leaving a frustrated Captain behind. Dammit, when was he gonna open up? Bridger sighed; even Robert was never this difficult.   
  
************************************************************************   
  
Lucas ignored the glances as he entered the bridge, making his way to Miguel's station.   
  
"Hey Lucas." Miguel said with a smile, concern in his kind chocolate brown eyes. Miguel had grown to like Lucas. He'd taken to ignoring the attitude, and found the kid wasn't that bad if you didn't ruffle his feathers. "You all right?"   
  
"I'm fine." Lucas snapped, but Miguel thought he caught a hint of regret in the boy's eyes for snapping. He smiled, accepting the apology hidden in the youth's faltered gaze.   
  
"All right buddy. You wanna give me a hand then? That starboard WSKR is acting up again, but I think it's a malfunction in these controls, not the in the WSKR."   
  
Lucas nodded kneeling down to open a panel by their side. Miguel crouched down beside him and the two conversed over the possible problems. Neither noticed the Captain enter the bridge, as he made his way over to stand behind them.   
  
"Ortiz, Lieutenant O'Niel wanted to see you."   
  
Miguel looked quizzically at his Captain, knowing Tim would have contacted him over the headset. He caught the look in his Captains eyes though, and nodded, patting Lucas on the shoulder, before getting up and walking over to Tim's station.   
  
Bridger crouched down beside the boy, who was intentionally ignoring him. The captain was silent for a moment, then he spoke. "Come on kiddo, you need some rest."   
  
The boy continued to ignore him. Bridger sighed. "Lucas please, I know how you were helping everyone out yesterday. I'm sorry I snapped at you, but you could have told me that people had piled work on you...and you could have refused-"   
  
"No I couldn't." Lucas finally spoke up. "It's hard enough being at least 10 years younger than anyone aboard this boat. At least if I do what they ask, I'm not in the way so much, and they don't completely resent me being here."   
  
Bridger's eyes softened. "Hey, nobody resents you being here, Kiddo."   
  
Lucas gave him a look that matched as he said, "Where have you been living?"   
  
Bridger chuckled. The kid was arrogant and sarcastic, as well as witty as hell. He often had some comment that made whoever was around him laugh.   
  
"Seriously Lucas, you're much appreciated here...apparently too much, I can't have you to myself, others want your help as well now...maybe we should have a sign up chart, huh?"   
  
Lucas hid his smile well, but the Captain caught the slight glimmer. He said nothing, though; he hadn't become captain of a submarine by being stupid.   
  
"Come on Lucas, you're a part of this crew, and as a part of this crew, you have to follow orders. I order you to take the afternoon off, get some sleep and get something to eat."   
  
"I-"   
  
"No arguments young man."   
  
"Fine, but I gotta finish this. I've already started, and besides, you don't want this malfunctioning if we run into trouble."   
  
Bridger sighed; the kid was right. "Fine, but as soon as your done, and I mean right as you put that panel back in place, you're done. Got it?"   
  
Lucas nodded quietly, too tired to argue.   
  
Bridger carefully, placed his hand on Lucas' shoulder, and gave a gentle squeeze. It was slowly becoming instinct not to act abruptly around the teen. He was way too jumpy.   
  
"All right."   
  
With that he got up, and made his way to his command chair. There he surveyed his crew at work, eyes often falling on the blonde haired youth, working away, biting his lip as he fiddled with some wires. Ortiz quickly rejoined him, and Bridger relaxed at the smile Lucas offered the older man.   
  
Bridger knew many of the crew were still not comfortable with the boy being there, but he wouldn't admit it to Lucas, and besides, what mattered was the senior staff were warming up to him, and that was Bridger's main concern. He already knew Ben and Kristen liked the boy, and it seemed Tim and Miguel got along with him too. The Chief, Commander, Hitchcock and Shan were coming along, a little more slowly.   
  
He sighed, all in due time.   
  
Chapter 1 coming when I get some feedback... *hint* *hint*   
  
Jaimi Copyright@2001 


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Thanks for the wonderful reviews, and thanks to Nevermore for Beta Reading this. Let me know what you think of this chapter. Comment and suggestions welcome.   
  
Chapter 2   
  
Lucas played with his food, not really interested in the green mush. He'd always been a picky eater, and that had often caused him a bruised rib, and once a broken arm. He shuddered; he didn't want to think about his "parents." His thoughts drifted to Darwin, the ship's dolphin, and the only being Lucas had confided in. Darwin knew of his abusive parents, though not in detail...that was too awful to recall, the memories almost as painful as the physical blows that had created them. Lucas knew his vocorder wasn't advanced enough for Darwin to recall to the others what Lucas had told him, and Lucas didn't think he would anyway. He trusted Darwin.   
  
The teen jumped slightly as Ben, Tim and Miguel all sat down at the table he was at. He offered a feeble smile to the people who put up with him. Though he knew he hadn't been at his worst with them...he knew he should push them away, that it would only hurt more when they left. But he couldn't do it. He would never admit it, but he enjoyed someone at least acknowledging him, and they even talked to him. It was nice.   
  
"Hey buddy, you looked wiped," Ben said, scooping up a blob of the green goop, making a face before swallowing it.   
  
"Man, I really need to get this boat some real food. Pizza sounds good, eh kid?"   
  
Pizza did sound good. "Hell yeah, " he answered. "THAT is real food."   
  
He high-fived Ben, who chuckled saying to Tim and Miguel, "At least somebody's got some sense."   
  
Tim and Miguel mocked insult, "Hey, we never said pizza didn't sound good. It sounds DAMN good," Miguel said, taking on a dreamy look.   
  
"It's pizza Miguel, not a chick from Baywatch," Lucas quipped with a grin. The others laughed, including Miguel, drawing the attention of a few other crewmen, including Ford and Hitchcock.   
  
"Smart ass," he chuckled, as Jonathan and Katie approached. Lucas grinned at Miguel, but quickly sobered as the two commanders approached. Ben touched his arm supportively while grinning up at the officers.   
  
"Well, if it isn't my beautiful ex-wife and not so beautiful high Commander...no offense... Sir," Ben said to the commander with a sly grin.   
  
"Why'd you marry this clown again Katie?"   
  
"Lack of anything better to do, and I think I was drugged," she stated casually, eyes revealing her mirth.   
  
Lucas tried to chock back a laugh. He'd never heard the lieutenant commander being anything but serious. Ben's jaw dropped, more so at his young friend's laughter.   
  
"Lucas! Thanks for the support buddy. And you two! I'm hurt," he added to Tim and Miguel, whose shoulders were shaking with mirth.   
  
"Sorry Ben!" Lucas said with a grin, "But that was too good."   
  
Ben rolled his eyes, but he was happy that Lucas loosened up a bit around the senior officers. Katie smiled at the blonde teen. She was so unsure of him. One minute he was ready to snap at anything and anyone, and the next, usually when he was with Ben, he was actually smiling. Her heart lifted at the fact that she had caused that laugh, and that slight sparkle in those big blue eyes. He was definitely competition when it came to eyes. Hers drew attention for being large and a rare pale ice blue. Very pretty, she was told. Lucas's were large and a bright baby blue. Pretty wasn't a word you would use for the young man, beautiful maybe. Expressive.   
  
"Whatever. Anyway, sit down you two, grace us with you presence," Ben stated, lightly.   
  
Ford rolled his eyes, but complied, sitting between Katie and Tim, and right across from the teen. Lucas was quiet for a moment, until Miguel got him going by dropping goop onto his plate.   
  
"Miguel! That's disgusting."   
  
"No it's not, it's food."   
  
"Oh don't even get me started on the many ways that IS NOT food."   
  
Katie stifled a giggle.   
  
"Well, you eat it don't you?"   
  
"Maybe you do, but I don't."   
  
"So, you're gonna waste all that food on your plate."   
  
"It's not food. Besides, I'm sure you could find another use for it."   
  
Miguel's eyes glinted with mischief. "Oh, I could."   
  
The boy looked at him strangely, before his eyes widened. "Don't even think about it."   
  
"About what? Eating it? Never, it's not food Lucas it's...flying green ammo."   
  
SPLAT! It hit Lucas square in the chest.   
  
Lucas' jaw dropped, along with Katie and Jonathan's. Tim and Ben just laughed.   
  
Lucas recovered quickly, "Oh you are SO gonna pay for that."   
  
"Ooh, big talk little ma-"   
  
Miguel stopped mid sentence, a good-sized blob of green right between his eyes.   
  
"Oh, it's on." Just as he was scooping up another batch of green mush, Jonathan, who had just recovered from shock at his friend's sudden playfulness, cleared his throat when he saw the captain enter. Miguel caught the warning, glaring at Katie, who couldn't help the laugh that escaped her throat as she took in Lucas and Miguel's little game results. Lucas hid his grin, ducking his head, as he wiped off his shirt. He looked up as he finished. Miguel had ducked his head as the Captain approached, not having time to wipe off the offending slop. Lucas looked up at the Captain, who was looking strangely at Miguel. The Cuban was shaking in silent laughter.   
  
"You all right there Chief?" Tim and Ben burst out laughing, Lucas was a little more concerned though, not wanting to get his friend in trouble. "It's my fault Sir, I-I...well...I threw some of this goo at him," Lucas stuttered out.   
  
The others were a little surprised at the teen's nervous tone; he should know that Captain was easygoing enough. But they chuckled at his rendition of what had "happened."   
  
"Goo? Lucas?"   
  
Lucas shrugged, relaxing slightly as the Captain didn't seem too upset.   
  
"Well, it's not food Sir."   
  
The others burst out laughing. This kid was priceless.   
  
The Captain smiled, shaking his head in wonder, as Miguel, who had raised his head, wiped the green mush off his face.   
  
"Can't argue with you there," the Captain muttered, walking away.   
  
Lucas smiled, as the others laughed again. He wished his life could always be this happy and carefree. He frowned; he couldn't get used to this. This was just something else that would be taken away from him.   
  
With that he got up, and headed toward his quarters, causing the other five to watch him in concerned surprise.   
  
"He okay?" Ford asked the other three men, who knew the boy better than he did.   
  
Ben nodded sadly. "Yeah, he just gets like that sometimes. It's weird, whenever we're laughing, having a good time, something seems to dim in him, like he's afraid of having fun, and then he leaves, without a word..." Ben turned to look at Katie and Jonathan.   
  
"He's a good kid. You just have to give him a chance... Look past the attitude."   
  
"I agree Mr. Krieg." The Captain said, sitting down where Lucas had been. "He's hiding something. And whatever it is, it's hurting him. Whatever it is...I don't think it's going to be pleasant finding out."   
  
"If we ever do..." Katie added. "He's so...closed off Sir. I want to befriend him...but for a 15 year old, he's got quite the intimidating look. I'm afraid to set him off."   
  
Jonathan nodded. "It's not that I don't want the kid around Sir, but he makes the crew uneasy..."   
  
Bridger sighed. "I know Commander, but I don't think we should give up an this kid...I don't think I can. I just have this feeling, like whatever is up with him, we're his last hope. It sounds strange, but whatever is up with that kid isn't your normal teenage worries and pains. I mean when I was a kid, Lord knows I gave my parents trouble, but they could always tell what my attitude was about, you know? Girl trouble, school trouble, lack of privacy... None of those are really possible for Lucas," he paused, sighing heavily. "I don't know, it's just this feeling I have about him."   
  
The others nodded and Jonathan spoke up. "What can we do Sir? This is a submarine, not a day care. None of us are child psychologists...unless we hire one. Isn't his dad some rich tycoon?"   
  
The others nodded.   
  
"Some rich tycoon that dumped his only son on a military submarine. I really don't think Daddy gives a damn in this case," Ben said with bitterness.   
  
"Now, I don't know. Noyce said his father mentioned behavioral problems, he wanted discipline for him," Bridger said, in all fairness toward Doctor Wolenczak.   
  
"Captain, it's fairly obvious that military discipline makes no difference with him. He doesn't respond to it. He's to stubborn, to indifferent," Commander Ford stated.   
  
The Captain nodded. That was true.   
  
He sighed, "Well, I'm not ready to give up on him yet." He really wasn't. He felt like he owed it to the kid, to help him...to teach him. Lucas was the one to convince him to stay aboard the seaQuest...and that had been the best decision Brideger had ever made.   
  
The others nodded in agreement, all feeling a sense of duty towards the ship's resident teen. They all felt an obligation to help the young man, as a civilian and as a friend.   
  
"We're behind you all the way Captain," Jonathan said with determination.   
  
Chapter 3 Coming ASAP. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!   
  
Jaimi Copyright@2001 


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Just wanted to note in this chapter that there's a lot of stuff in this story, past, present and future chapters that is alternate universe type of stuff. Keep that and an open mind when reading. I warned that this wasn't a regular sQ fic. Thanks. R&R!   
P.S. Thanks to Nevermore for the great job Beta Reading this.   
  
Chapter 3   
  
In the months that followed Lucas couldn't help it as he allowed himself to grow attached to these people. He'd sworn never to trust, and never to love, but it had proven difficult not to grow fond of some people, in fact it was nearly impossible when it came to a scarce few members of the senior staff. Lucas could now easily relax and share a laugh with even Commander Ford and Chief Crocker. The only thing he never did was cry. No one knew that he had never shed a tear since he was 4 years old. His father wouldn't allow it. _Tears were for women. No proud son of his would cry._ It was one of the few times his father acknowledged him as his son, in any other way than being a worthless one.   
  
The crew got nothing out of the boy as far as what he was hiding. However, their persistence in befriending him paid off. He was friendlier than when he first came aboard, perhaps even carefree at times, but there were still days where it as if the weight of the world troubled him, and no one wanted to go near him.   
  
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May 5th, 2018. 10 years ago on that day, 4 year old Lucas' world turned upside down. His parents had never paid him much mind, but they had never hurt him either. However, the day his little sister Sarah died, in their very own house, due to a fire caused by a fallen candle, everything changed.   
  
His father began drinking as his mother sat alone in her room and cried. Lucas and his older brother, Matthew, were looked after by the hired help. Matthew was coddled by their mother when she was around, and Lucas was shunned. It was his fault, after all. Four year old Lucas had been told to watch the baby for 5 minutes while their mother went out to visit a friend. The butler would be back soon.   
  
The baby had cried and cried in her crib. Lucas knew she needed changing, and to be fed, but the little boy was too small to get her from her crib. The clever one decided to call their neighbour and ran downstairs to the phone. The baby stood up, banging against the crib, knocking it against a dresser. A burning candle flickered as its base moved closer and closer to the edge.   
  
Lucas hadn't even dialed the phone when he smelt the smoke. He left it off the hook and ran as fast as his tiny legs could carry him up to his sister's room. The silk curtains raged with fire, black smoke billowed about the room.   
  
Little Lucas frantically made his way to his sister's crib. She wailed on, terrified. Lucas climbed up onto the windowsill and reached for his sister. The trusting baby reached for her favourite brother, the one that sang to her, and had pretty blue eyes to look at. He snagged her, but as she flung her arms around him, she threw him off balance and they tumbled to the floor.   
  
Lucas gripped his baby sister in his arms and slowly crawled toward the door. The room was consumed in flames, it licked at their tender skin. The baby wailed on, but Lucas never shed a tear. He was almost to the door when the lamp fell on him, causing him to drop his sister, and knock him to the floor. His sister cried, but he couldn't get up. The lamp was too heavy.   
  
Suddenly no more cries were heard from his sister. He learned later she had quickly died from smoke inhalation. Lucas would have died to, if it hadn't been for Max, the neighbour's dog who knew a way in from the basement. Lucas passed out just as the large Shepherd clamped down on the boy's arm, and dragged him out from under the lamp and out of the burning house, as the fire quickly spread through the richly decorated house.   
  
His mother to this day, blamed her only daughter's death on him, verbally abusing him, telling him how useless, how awful he was. His father said nothing, only drank the incident away, and becoming more violent with each grieving day.   
  
Matthew, his older brother, never blamed Lucas, but he watched in sad resignation as his father beat his little brother. What could the 8-year-old do? Nothing. Nothing but soothe his brother, who still never cried.   
  
As the months passed, the abuse did not. It became routine, as regular and steady as the plummet of Lucas' trust in adults, in love, in anything that was meant to bring him the security that had vanished from his life in that one fateful day...and it was his fault.   
  
Chapter 4 coming...eventually...   
  
Jaimi Copyright@2001 


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: Thanks to Nevermore for Beta Reading.  
Warning: Un-TV-Lucas-like character action/words in this part. Please, please, please R&R!   
  
Chapter 4   
  
By: Jaimi   
  
"Hey Lucas," Shan greeted the teen as he walked into the moon pool, ready to go with the rest of the team on a practice dive.   
  
The others watched as he got the same response as the rest of the senior staff. No response. He was blatantly ignoring everyone that day, and it was fraying on everyone's nerves.   
  
"Lucas, you could at least acknowledge our presence," Kristen stated, tired of his somber, careless mood. He'd barely spoken to her, either.   
  
"Presence acknowledged," he muttered, not looking up.   
  
He didn't need to deal with this right now. He didn't want to get his friends upset with him, but he had other things to deal with. Like his sister's death. She would be 11 years old if she had lived... If Lucas hadn't been so careless. And if his sister had lived, he never would have been punished for the rest of his life.   
  
"Mind your manners, young man," Kristen scolded. She was very fond of the teen, but he was incredibly trying at times.   
  
"You told me to acknowledge you, dammit. Make up your mind or leave me the hell alone," he snapped.   
  
"Lucas!" The Captain had just entered C-Deck and had heard the boy's harsh tone.   
  
"Apologize to the doctor right now. Then you can go to your quarters 'til we return. You and I will have a little talk."   
  
"I don't want to talk."   
  
"You have no choice."   
  
"Try making me."   
  
"Dammit Lucas, what has gotten into you today?"   
  
"None of your damn business," Lucas said, glaring at the Captain.   
  
The Captain took a deep breath, letting it out evenly as he said, "It is my business when it involves you treating this crew so rudely, and you will watch your language Mister."   
  
"Stop telling me what I will and will not do."   
  
"I am your Captain, and you will stop acting like a spoiled child. Your father isn't here shelter you."   
  
That hurt. His father, shelter? Lucas, spoiled? Hardly, but that was a whole other torn seam in Lucas's tattered life. Lucas stared coldly at the man before him. "Fuck you," he spat out.   
  
"Lucas!" Ben and Ford said simultaneously, shocked at their young friend's bold words.   
  
As were the rest of the crew. Bridger was more shocked by the venom in the young man's voice than the actual words. "You don't know anything about me or my 'father.' "   
  
The Captain bristled. He did not take kindly to the boy's rudeness, but he couldn't help but notice the way Lucas said the word father.   
  
"I will not tolerate your language or your rudeness. Mr. Crocker, escort Mr. Wolenczak to his quarters and be sure he stays there 'til I return."   
  
"Aye Sir," the Chief said, still shocked by the exchange. He reached for Lucas' shoulder.   
  
"Don't touch me," Lucas hissed, walking away from the bewildered group, Crocker close behind.   
  
*******************************************************************************   
  
Bridger never came by that day, or night. Apparently the SeaQuest had run into some technical problems and needed the extra hands... that is without Lucas around to fix it. And Bridger refused to let the boy out to help, though he had a feeling he probably wouldn't anyway.   
  
Lucas woke the next morning, physically and emotionally drained. He thought back to the day before and winced. He shouldn't have been so cruel, they didn't deserve it. If only they had just left him alone. Just for that day. He sighed, and rolled over onto his side, not interested in getting up. A few minutes later, there was a knock at his door, and a moment later it opened. He knew who it was.   
  
"You awake?" The Captain's voice asked, not unpleasant, but by no means showing immediate forgiveness for yesterday. He wanted an explanation.   
  
"No, I'm sleeping." He mumbled.   
  
The Captain sighed. Well, that was more than he got yesterday morning when he'd first seen him.   
  
"Well wake up."   
  
Lucas smirked, then turned over to face the older man who pulled up a chair by his bedside.   
  
"Yes, Sir."   
  
The Captain smiled faintly, not willing to give in to the boy's charm just yet.   
  
"Feeling better this morning?"   
  
"I was never sick."   
  
"You know what I mean."   
  
Lucas was quiet, "Yeah, I'm fine."   
  
"What happened yesterday kiddo?" Lucas looked away.   
  
"Nothing."   
  
"That wasn't nothing pal. If you were any other crewmember addressing me like that you'd be in the brig so fast your head would spin."   
  
"Why didn't you?"   
  
"Didn't I what?"   
  
"Send me to the brig? I was rude, obnoxious, patronizing... I deserved being put in there, Sir."   
  
"Well, if you realize that then why did you do it?"   
  
Lucas was quiet again, as he just shrugged.   
  
"Come on pal, out with it. Something was bothering you. Tell me what was up."   
  
Lucas shook his head, "Just a bad day sir, I'm sorry."   
  
Bridger watched the young man's face, a blank mask. He sighed. "I don't believe that was just a bad day Pal, but you apologized... If you don't want to talk, I'll leave it at that. I'm not gonna tell you to go around apologizing to the whole crew, but could you at least drop by and see the doctor. She cares about you Kiddo, and she was just concerned about you yesterday."   
  
Lucas nodded as he sat up, rubbing his eyes.   
  
"Yeah," he said quietly.   
  
Bridger sighed. He wished the boy would open up. He gently patted his shoulder, "Get up, get dressed and go get something to eat."   
  
"Yessir."   
  
The Captain looked concerned at the boy's lack of sarcasm and wit. But he said nothing, leaving the boy to change.   
  
Lucas was too tired to be clever, so he'd stuck to being cordial, and probably shocking the hell out of the Captain. With a heavy sigh, Lucas pulled on some clean cargos and a basketball jersey over his white t-shirt. Running a brush through his hair he headed to the lab. He didn't feel like eating.   
  
Chapter 5 coming ASAP.   
  
Jaimi Copyright@2001


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: Kay. Another reminder, definite alternate universe here. More nasty Lucas and a rather nasty General Thomas. I know he wasn't this bad in the show, but I never liked him, I always thought he was a scum bag, and this is my fiction, so HA! Anyway, I'm also not entirely sure if he is as high up or higher than Noyce, but if someone knows, PUL-EASE let me know so I can fix the story and possibly change the next part which isn't up yet, and won't be til I get some feedback. People still liking it? Or hating it? Let me know. Thanks. R&R.  
P.S. Thanks to Nevermore for Beta Reading and helping me with adding to the dramatics in the Lucas/Matthew "flashback". Phrases/sentences in there belong to Nevermore.  
  
Chapter 5   
By: Jaimi   
  
Lucas had apologized to the Doctor, who easily accepted. She then got him working on her latest experiment, which kept the boy occupied and in fairer spirits, though it was obvious he was exhausted.   
  
"Lucas, why don't you take a break and get something to eat?"   
  
Lucas shook his head slightly, intent on the algae under the lens of his microscope. "Not hungry," he mumbled, before turning to type something up on the computer at his side.   
  
Kristen sighed, knowing better than to push him, especially after a day like yesterday.   
  
"Alright, but will you come with me at lunch time? Please?" Lucas sighed, knowing she would keep after him until he did.   
  
"Fine."   
  
"Thank you."   
  
Lucas glanced up at her pleased face. "You're welcome," he answered, offering a shy smile.   
  
Kristen smiled happily at the boy's polite and honest response.   
  
They worked quietly, but productively, for the rest of the morning, and Lucas, true to his word, went with her to lunch.   
  
He did give some form of apology to the senior staff as he saw them individually during the day, and he felt better for it as they all easily forgave him. And life went on as normal... or as normal as a military/science sub harbouring a teenage smart-ass genius could be.   
  
************************************************************************   
  
A month later, however, things went bad again. It was June 12, 2018. The anniversary of an event that, had it not been for the earlier tragedy with the fire, would have been the worst catastrophe in Lucas' life. He had been only 4 years old, and had watched his 8-year-old brother plummet 10 stories to a very sudden death.   
  
The boys had been playing on the balcony of their father's office building when Matthew had decided he wanted to sit on the edge. Lucas had been wary, not wanting to get in more trouble. His ribs were still mending.   
  
When his brother had slipped, Lucas had grabbed desperately for him. He would never forget his tiny hands trying to hold the hands of a brother that was twice as old, and far too large to be supported by one so young. He held on as long as he could, screaming for help. By the time the help had arrived, it was too late. Lucas would always recall the look of utter surprise and terror in his beloved brother's face, as Matthew broke free from the desperate grasp of his brother and felt gravity pull him to certain doom.   
  
After that, Lucas didn't go a day without being hit, punched or kicked. His father was relatively smart, not hitting him anywhere it would show, but he slipped up a few times when he was drunk, but he blamed the doorknob or the staircase… the staircase.   
  
One form of torture his father took to was making Lucas realize what he had done. In a drunken rage, on two occasions he did this. Once on the anniversary of his sister's death, his father had lit the pool house on fire, and thrown Lucas into a closet. Lucas screamed only once, as a burning ember landed on his soft skin. That scream had been enough to send the butler running... straight into the pool house to drag the trembling 5-year-old out.   
  
No one ever knew the cause of the fire...or at least, no one dared to investigate. His father was a powerful man.   
  
The other occasion, of course, happened on the anniversary of his brother's death. His father had dragged him out of his room and held him by the throat over the railing of the top floor in their new house. Lucas had squirmed until his vision started to dot. Then his father had lifted him back over. The boy was relieved for but a moment before his father threw him down the tall staircase, wrecking the boy's knee. His knee still bothered him sometimes, though he hid it well, and the scar from the single ember still showed against the pale white skin under the shirt on his right shoulder.   
  
Lucas shuddered; then there were the other hidden, or medically removed, blemishes from the years of constant cruelty and abuse. The seaQuest had gone from being the place that proved how his parents never wanted him, to his safe haven, that kept the fists and bats at bay.   
  
************************************************************************   
  
The crew were wary, as Lucas was in another one of his moods. Even more unfortunately, they were docked at Pearl Harbour, getting some much-needed supplies.   
  
The Secretary General was there, and the crew were desperate to keep the foul humoured teen away from the man that had more power than Dr. Wolenczak and could easily have the boy removed. Despite the boy's mood swings and unpredictable nature, the thought of him leaving the seaQuest upset the senior staff; he'd grown on them.   
  
"Lucas, stay close," Bridger admonished, looking around for Admiral Noyce as they entered UEO headquarters, hoping to run into him before General Thomas.   
  
"I'm not a child, you don't need to hold my hand," Lucas snapped back.   
  
"Don't tempt me Kiddo, and today is not a good day for one of your moods."   
  
Lucas glowered at the Captain, "Go to hell."   
  
Bridger spun around to face the teen. "That's enough," he hissed. "I've had it with your attitude, pal."   
  
"Then send me away. I don't care."   
  
If Bridger hadn't seen the slight glimmer of fear in the boy's eyes, he would have believed the careless tone.   
  
"Yes you do, and no, I won't."   
  
"Why the hell not? I'm just a nuisance, I-"   
  
"Stop it," Bridger cried, exasperated. "You are NOT a nuisance, you are not worthless. I don't know where you get your outrageous ideas, but you're dead wrong on all of them."   
  
Lucas rolled his eyes, afraid to believe him. He turned away, running into a man surrounded by security, who grabbed his arms. He roughly yanked his arms, trying to get away.   
  
"Get your hands off me!"   
  
"Who the hell is this? And what is he doing here?" The man bellowed.   
  
Nathan paled. Not good.   
  
"General Thomas, he's with me."   
  
"Bridger. What are you doing with this obnoxious nuisance? Where did he come from?"   
  
Lucas stared smugly at the Captain, who bristled at the general's comments.   
  
"He's not a nuisance Sir, and his father had him placed aboard the seaQuest. He's quite an asset to our ship's computer systems."   
  
"Oh please, Captain. He looks not more than 15 years old."   
  
"You're observant," Lucas snapped.   
  
The man glared at the rude teenager, who struggled against a large guard's hold.   
  
"Mind your tongue, boy."   
  
"Drop dead, asshole."   
  
No one was prepared for the boy's reaction as the general slapped the youth hard across the face. Bridger seethed in anger, moving to go to the youth, but suddenly all hell broke loose as the teen frantically began struggling and cursing. The five security men made to hold the surprisingly strong 15 year old, while another group held the angered SeaQuest crew at bay. To the many security, the out of control teen was a possible threat to the Secretary General. They took no risks.   
  
************************************************************************   
  
Lucas reeled in shock as the large hand struck him. He had not been hit in several months. He knew he shouldn't have gotten used to the luxury, it affected him ten fold. He struggled against the security's hold. His whole body screamed for him to get away. He was in a nearly uncontrollable panic, as they wrestled him down and held him pinned to the floor. All he could hear was his father's curses. All he could feel were his fists pounding into him.   
  
His eyes were shut tight as he pulled, squirmed and kicked. People were shouting, someone was yelling his name. He was angry. At him? He struggled harder. Sweat poured off him. He continued to struggle, listening to no one, registering nothing but the harsh memories of his past.   
  
Chapter 6 coming soon...hopefully...   
  
Jaimi Copyright@2001 


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: Thanks to Nevermore for beta reading. Please R&R.   
  
Chapter 6   
  
By: Jaimi   
  
Bridger's heart was in his throat, the blonde teen's cries wrenching at his soul. The security wasn't his, and they wouldn't let him through, or let the boy go, no matter how much he shouted. Lucas' struggles were seen as a threat to the general. The struggle continued, his crwe was shouting at the guards to let the teen go, but their cries fell on deaf ears.   
  
Lucas put up a good fight for a full minute. However, after a few blows from the guards, he lay motionless under the heavy security. The fight had left him. His breathing was laboured. Every inch of his body was covered in sweat, and blood dripped from his lip a guard had back handed him. Bridger's heart broke. He could not get to the boy or he would have stopped it long before. No one would listen. Even he, who was a legend in the UEO, did not have the power to intervene.   
  
"Get him out of here," the general ordered, his voice a disgusted growl.   
  
"No!" Nathan shouted. He stepped forward only to stop as a guard drew his gun and trained it on the Captain in a clear warning. These security personal were taking no chances.   
  
"Captain, you needn't worry about this rebel any more. I'll have him removed from the seaQuest-"   
  
"No!" A few of the other crew argued. Some were silent, in shock.   
  
"Dammit, Thomas. You get these guards to back off and let me through to that boy, NOW!"   
  
"Watch it, Captain! I-"   
  
"What is going on here?" Admiral Noyce's authorative voice cut through the heated exchange. He had just arrived at the commotion, having heard the shouts from inside the nearby UEO building complex.   
  
Though Admiral Noyce held no more power than the General, they were equal, and for that, the crew and Lucas would be eternally grateful.   
  
"Bill!" Nathan shouted frantically to his long time friend. "Tell them to back off, I need to get to Lucas."   
  
Admiral Noyce nodded. He was confused, but he trusted Nathan's judgement. "What the hell happened here?" He asked his long time friend.   
  
It was the general the spoke up. "This little heathen..."   
  
Nathan didn't hear the rest as he was allowed forward. He rushed to the teen's side. The youth was wheezing. His whole body trembled, in fear or exhaustion, Nathan wasn' sure. His eyes were shut, his face pale and his damp, blonde hair clung to his forehead. A bruise was beginning to form near his mouth, where the dripping blood had begun to dry.   
  
The security began backing away. Bridger assumed the Admiral had ordered them to do so, and that his old friend was gaining some control of the situation. His thoughts were confirmed as the rest of the senior crew appeared without a fuss. They looked on as Bridger pulled the boy into his arms.   
  
"Lucas?"   
  
The boy barely had the energy to open his eyes. When he did, they were dull and empty. The struggle had drained his spirit. Nathan strained to listen as he muttered things under his breath. "It's hot...so hot...burning...smoke...the baby...I have to save the baby..." His head started to jerk quickly from side to side, and it seemed as if Lucas was fighting to focus his eyesight on an unseen figure far off in the distance. "My fault...Matthew...hold on...I won't...let go...I won't...sorry...I'm sorry..."   
  
Nathan's brow furrowed at the mumbled nonsense, but he couldn't worry about that right now.   
  
"Shhhh. It's alright now, Kiddo. It's alright."   
  
"No..." Lucas replied, weakly shaking his head.   
  
Bridger pulled the exhausted youth closer. He was puzzled by the boy's defeated tone. What had happened? Why had the teen reacted so badly?   
  
"Is he alright Captain?" Jonathan asked for the rest of the senior staff.   
  
"I don't know, Jonathan. He's exhausted."   
  
"He oughtta be, Sir. He put up one hell of a struggle. He's one tough kid," Miguel said, sounding impressed.   
  
Bridger nodded absently, stroking the boy's hair away from his sweaty brow. "Hmmm. No kid should have to be that tough..."   
  
Ben nodded , adding his thoughts. "Or have a reason to be that scared, Sir... I've never seen fear like that in anyone's eyes. He was terrified... And now..." He looked down at his pale, motionless friend as he knelt by the Captain. He reached out and squeezed Lucas' hand. "Come on, Pal. Squeeze my hand. Let me know you're okay."   
  
Katie's eyes pricked with tears at her ex-husband's gentle, but worried tone. Only this child could get such a gentle manner from her normally not especially sensitive ex.   
  
Lucas heard Ben's voice, but he felt no desire to move. He was too tired. He just wanted to sleep. To fall asleep and never wake up. However, the persistent, worried voices wouldn't let him. He felt strong arms lift him up, and was vaguely aware as the crew followed their Captain, Lucas cradled in his arms toward Admiral Noyce. Admiral Noyce... Lucas had always liked the kind-hearted man.   
  
************************************************************************   
  
Lucas was in a restless state of semi-sleep, but he was distantly aware of the Captain setting him down in a small room. He felt a light squeeze on his shoulder, the Captain's soothing voice saying he was going to talk to the admiral. Then the rest of the crew, minus Ben, told him they would be just outside the door.   
  
The teen felt Ben grip his hand as the door closed and he drifted in and out of sleep as the older man had a one sided conversation about his latest scam, and most recent failed love.   
  
Lucas was almost settled into a deep slumber when he heard Ben's disgruntled protest as a strange pair of arms lifted Lucas off the hard mattress. He vaguely made out parts of the heated conversation… _here...taking...business...orders...Doctor...General... _   
  
He was too weak to protest or call out for Ben and the others, who were arguing with the security, frustration apparent in their voices. They could not argue with the warrant, however, and Lucas quickly found himself in the back of a squad car and moving farther and farther away from his friends.   
  
************************************************************************   
  
Bridger had marched straight into Bill's office and demanded an explanation for the General's abrupt behaviour. What he got upset him even more as the Admiral told him of the new orders.   
  
"I don't know what I can do Nathan. I'm going to appeal this as much as possible, but until then, the boy has to stay in the orphanage."   
  
"For the love of God, Bill. His Father is some rich big-wig scientist, and you're telling me the boy can't be taken home for the duration of the debate?"   
  
Noyce shook his head sadly. "His father doesn't want him home. He's afraid without proper supervision the boy will cause trouble."   
  
"So he acknowledges the fact that he's a terrible father?! He can't even 'supervise' his own son?!" Nathan snapped.   
  
Noyce sighed. "I'm not denying the fact that he's not Dad of the Year, Nathan, but he's a very busy man. A very busy man that is an asset to the UEO, and he has a lot of brass on his side. They'll roll over and fetch for him as long as he continues his invaluable work for us. That includes allowing his son to stay at the orphanage, even though he's not an orphan..."   
  
"He might as well be," Nathan fumed. "Why doesn't he send him to school? Or with relatives, or something?"   
  
Bill shrugged. "I don't know, Nathan. I just don't know. All I can guarantee you is I'm not going down without a fight to get that kid back on the seaQuest. As far as I'm concerned the kid's brighter than his father. He does his work because he enjoys it and wants to help. That Wolenczak seems to work for the money and the power. You know his last experiment almost put the Emperor Penguins on the extinct list? He doesn't care who or what he hurts to get the results he wants. Unfortunately, not enough of the people in office feel the way I do. They're too much like Wolenczak. They just want results." Noyce rubbed the bridge of his nose. Sometimes he hated his job.   
  
"How am I going to tell him thi-" Bridger began, but was interrupted as the admiral's office door burst open.   
  
"Sir! Some people left here with Lucas. They had some warrant or something, I dunno who they were-" Ben gasped out, having charged into the room in a panic.   
  
Bridger spun around to face the Admiral, who sighed.   
  
"The OS. My hands are tied, Nathan. There's nothing I can do."   
  
"OS?" Ben asked, confused. "The Orphan Society? Why the hell are they taking Lucas...Sir?"   
  
Bridger sighed, at a loss. "Please round the crew up and have them report back on the seaQuest. I want the entire senior staff in the Ward room in 0100 hours."   
  
"But Sir, Lucas..."   
  
"You have your orders, Lieutenant."   
  
Ben stared at his Captain, before reluctantly nodding. "Yes sir."   
  
With that he turned and headed back toward the rest of the crew who were worriedly discussing Lucas' disappearance.   
  
************************************************************************   
  
"All this because that SOB didn't like Lucas' attitude? I mean, I know it wasn't one of Lucas' better days, but come on Sir. Shouldn't they be more worried about the teens wielding guns in Miami and the anti-government gangs in Tampa?" Ortiz asked, perplexed.   
  
Bridger sighed. "General Thomas is a jerk, Mr. Ortiz. A jerk that loves showing off his power. But I'm not going to let him win this one. I've scheduled the seaQuest to be put in for repairs over the next two weeks. Noyce has already appealed the decision to have Lucas removed from the seaQuest. The paper work has already been sent. Now we just have to wait for the judges to review it and come to a decision."   
  
"In the meantime, Lucas has to sit in a dingy old orphanage while we have an unscheduled vacation?" Jonathan asked incredulously.   
  
"Afraid so, Jonathan... But, Noyce is requesting visiting rights for us, as we speak."   
  
The others nodded, each lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Katie spoke up.   
  
"Sir, I may be out of line, but I can't help but wonder about so many things that... that just don't sit right. With me, anyway..."   
  
"What is it, Commander?" Bridger asked patiently, respecting Katie's gut instinct.   
  
"Sir...Lucas is 15 years old. He's a genius with an attitude, but behind all that we know there's a good kid. We know he's a good kid that is incredibly jumpy... defensive... distant... He doesn't fully trust anybody, except maybe Darwin. He hates talking about his life at home, his parents, and do you ever notice the fear in his eyes when someone surprises him? No one could have missed the terror in his eyes and the way he flipped out when the general hit him... the kid is tough, Sir. The smack was uncalled for but it shouldn't have unleashed that kind of reaction. It makes one think... or maybe consider..." She paused, knowing what she was about to stay was a huge accusation.   
  
She didn't get a chance to, though, as Ben finished for her.   
  
"That his father abuses him!"   
  
The crew was more surprised at his bluntness than the accusation itself. They had all considered it, but never wanted to believe it. It was 2018 - domestic abuse should no longer exist. Realistically, they knew that wasn't true, but the thought of someone abusing a child, let alone a child they all knew and liked, was appalling.   
  
"That's quite the accusation, Lieutenant." Bridger said, though he had wondered the same thing.   
  
"And I accept full responsibility for it," Ben replied, face serious.   
  
Bridger sighed. "I've suspected the same thing, but we have to be careful, people. That is a very serious charge... I suggest we try and get something out of Lucas before we repeat this to anyone. Understood?"   
  
They all nodded.   
  
"Alright, you're dismissed. Everyone keep their PALS with you at all times. I'll contact you as soon as I hear more."   
  
Chapter 7 coming ASAP.   
  
Jaimi Copyright@2001 


	7. Chapter 7

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry for the delay people, but I ran into some serious writers block, and I'm not even sure when the next update will be, but I WILL finish this story. However, I have a request. As much as I appreciate feedback, and am flattered by people's insistence to hurry up, I do not appreciate emails (or reviews) that get snappish or harassing. As many other authors have said before, and may I repeat, we are not being paid to do this. It's for fun only. I enjoy that you enjoy, but I do not like being harassed (again, I don't mean people asking nicely, or even begging (hard to resist, LoL) to update. I mean people getting rude about it.) I do have a life people, and writer's block, is unfortunately common for me. As I've told many (patient people, I do not answer rude emails) I don't like to rush writing. I prefer to write when inspired.that way it comes out at least half way decent.  
  
Anyway, most people can ignore this, cause you guys are great, and I luv ya. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well, though I don't care for it as much as I'd hoped.it's a little too.something. Let me know what you think. P.S. Not beta read, so forgive the mistakes.  
  
WARNING: Rated R for harsh language and child abuse. If you no like, turn back. You've been warned.  
  
Chapter 7  
  
By: Jaimi  
  
Lucas groaned, his hands raw and sore from pulling weeds all day. His entire body was still recovering from his struggle the day before. He looked around him at the other boys in this prison. Well, orphanage, but dammit it was the same thing. He didn't belong here. He thought about it for a moment though, and realized that he did indeed belong here. Besides, it was better than being at home, getting the shit beaten out of him.  
  
"Get to work, Blondie!" One of the guards yelled. Guards, hmph. What the hell did they have guards at an orphanage for?  
  
He rolled his eyes, and reached for another weed. His thoughts drifted back to yesterday. It was all a vague memory, and he was kind of glad he didn't remember it all. He didn't want to. He hoped his friends wouldn't remember either, though he knew there was little chance of that.  
  
He sighed. His friends... What was he saying? They weren't his friends. He might as well realize that now and get over it. No one cared about what happened to him. They let those people take him, and they hadn't even come by...but why would they? He was nothing. They were military officers for the UEO. They didn't have time for a worthless fifteen year old, whose own parents didn't want him.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Several days passed and still no one from the seaQuest crew came by. Hurt welled up in the teen. *Why?* the naïve side of him.or what was left of it, wondered. *Did you really expect them to be any different?* the darker side of him answered. The part that recalled every fist, every boot, and every bat aimed at his frail being.  
  
The hurt turned into anger, and the difficult teen grew worse. He gave all the nuns, the guards and every other authority figure a hard time. Cursing, swearing, he even swung at a few of them. He caused trouble during dinner, getting the other boys going. He was a menace. Some of the guards were growing increasingly agitated, and one night, took matters into their own hands.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Lucas threw the fork down, not interested in eating.  
  
"Please Lucas, you must eat something," a kindly nun begged of him. She was one of the few who didn't believe the act the boy put on.  
  
"Go sing a hymn and leave me the hell alone!" He spat out angrily. She sighed and walked away into another room.  
  
It was silent, as there were only the boys and the guards in the room. Lucas was startled as large hands grabbed him from behind.  
  
"YOU THINK YOU RUN THE SHOW YOU LITTLE FUCK?"  
  
"Get off me!" Lucas shouted, struggling against the large guards hold.  
  
"QUIT!" The gruff voice hollered in his face.  
  
Lucas cringed in pain as the man back handed Lucas hard across the face, then kneed him in the stomach. Gasping, Lucas looked up and saw the other boys pretend not to notice.  
  
The familiarity hit like a rock...everyone always turned the other way.  
  
"You think you got everyone doing your bidding, huh? A worthless shit like you. Is it the UEO really can't handle you? Or are they just sick of you? I hear you're some rich mother fucker's son...and he don't want you either. Maybe I should just kill you and save everyone the pain. Huh? Lou, Hal, stay here and watch these kids. Cal and I are gonna teach this boy some manners."  
  
Lucas struggled in vain, kicking out and cursing as he was dragged into an empty bathroom where they proceeded beat him. The whole time they were telling him how worthless and stupid he was...no one wanted him...he should just die and get it over with...  
  
Half way through the awful words and harsh blows, part of who Lucas was...disappeared. The familiar words that he saw as nothing but the truth, fully set in. Ten years of abuse and neglect finally caught up as the boy suffered further trauma at the hands of strangers who thought he deserved to die. His will to live left. His spirit was broken.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Bridger tapped his fingers impatiently. It had been a week since he'd seen Lucas. The papers that granted him visitation rights had finally come through. He was even allowed to take the boy out of the home for a few hours. The senior crew were waiting at a park down the street.  
  
He looked up as he heard foots steps. A gentle looking Nun was leading Lucas toward him. Bridger blanched at the sight of the boy. He was thinner than before, after only seven days. He was also paler, and had a dark, nasty looking bruise on his face.  
  
"What happened?" The captain asked, as they reached him. Bridger carefully reached out toward Lucas, who flinched back from the man, though no real emotion registered on his face. Bridger frowned. Lucas only flinched if Bridger surprised him. He looked into the boy's eyes, and what he saw there scared him...nothing. They were dull, lifeless...as if the boy were a walking Zombie.  
  
The Nun sighed before answering. "He got in a fight with some of the other boys...at least that's what I was told. It happened two days ago. He has the bruise on his face, as well as a few others on his back, stomach and chest. It looks like he took a few kicks. Apparently he didn't fight back...which is surprising. He's been a handful from the beginning. Since the fight however, he's been like this."  
  
Bridger attempted to absorb what the young woman said, as he gazed at the teenager who stood quietly, offering no words, no glance...he barely moved. The only sign of life was the gentle rise and fall of the boy's chest, and his soft, even breaths. His eyes were downcast, his hands hung at his sides.  
  
*He looks like a horse that's been ruined after too many races and too many whippings....* The thought chilled Bridger's blood and he shivered.  
  
"Alright," he said softly, eyes still on the youngster. He then turned to the Nun. "Thank you, um..." he trailed off, waiting for some introduction.  
  
"Sister Mary," she offered, with a gentle smile.  
  
"Sister Mary, thank you. I'll have him back in a few hours."  
  
She nodded silently, but as Bridger turned to leave, Lucas walking slightly ahead of him, she spoke out suddenly. "Captain, please..." He turned back. Lucas seemed not to hear her, but noticing Bridger's halt, he walked a few meters ahead then stopped, waiting. "Help him..." she said quietly, so only Bridger could hear. "Don't let him slip away. He's difficult, I know, but don't give up. He has so much promise. I don't know what, but something has happened to this boy. Recently, or built up over the years, I just don't know.though having a father, yet being in an orphanage gives cause to wonder at certain things. All I know for sure is somewhere in there is a good kid. I saw it in his eyes when he first came here. There was a sweet, gentle soul. I just pray it's not too late to bring him back, but he...he needs...he needs trust. He needs love. He needs..." She paused and then spoke fiercely, a fire burning in her warm hazel eyes. "He just needs someone to give a damn."  
  
Bridger nodded, appreciating this woman's presence in Lucas' life where he couldn't be. "I won't give up. I do give a damn, and he's got my love. He just needs to learn to trust..."  
  
"He's got a reason now then, but I think he's forgotten how...teach him?" she pleaded, eyes brimming with tears.  
  
"I'm trying..." he assured her softly.  
  
She nodded, blinking rapidly. "I'll be waiting when you get back. Rule number one in rebuilding a broken spirit...he can never be alone."  
  
Bridger smiled sadly, and walked toward Lucas who had sat down on a bench nearby. He was staring blankly at the gleaming tile floor.  
  
"Come on Kiddo, let's go."  
  
Lucas said nothing, just stood obediently and followed the Captain out.  
  
*TBC*  
  
Jaimi Copyright@2003 


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: Okay, so next update did not take so long.I had chapter 7 and 8 written, and had time today to beta read chapter 8 so. Unfortunately, again, not beta read by someone else, so mistakes will be found. Also, again, I'm not sure how happy I am with Chapter 7 and 8. I could really use your thoughts on them. Too much something? Too little something? Constructive feedback appreciated. Also, I haven't decided where this is headed, though there is probably only one or two more chapters coming before it's finished. Always the possibility of a sequel, but I think I'll have the whole thing written before ever posting it, if I do. Anyway, on with the story.  
  
Chapter 8  
  
By: Jaimi  
  
The walk from the orphanage to the park was quiet. Bridger tried getting Lucas to talk, but silence was all he received. The older man's heart ached as they approached the crew and there was still no sign of acknowledgement from the boy. What had that orphanage done to him?  
  
"LUCAS!" Ben cried with a smile upon seeing his friend. However, he frowned when he got no response. The teen wasn't looking at any of them. The crew noticed a bruise on the child's cheek.  
  
They all looked at the captain, concerned.  
  
Their leader sighed. "Let's get something to eat shall we? Somewhere in particular you want to go, kiddo?"  
  
Still Lucas said nothing, staring off at a distant flock of birds.  
  
Bridger screamed inside with frustration, but he refused to let it show. He had to think of Lucas first.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
They all sat around a large table in a Denny's, munching on fries, talking about the weather and so on. No one wanted to bring up the appeal. Lucas was silent the entire time. They each tried to get him to talk, but he just sat there staring at his plate. At one point, he got up without a word, and headed for the washroom. When he was gone, everyone spoke at once, questioning the captain.  
  
"Quiet people!" They quieted down and he continued. "First of all, the bruise. Apparently Lucas got into a fight, though he didn't fight back. However, the nun I spoke to didn't seem to believe it was just some teenage quarrel..."  
  
"That explains the bruise, sir...but what about Lucas? He's like a walking Zombie."  
  
Bridger sighed at Tim's comment. "I know, Tim. I know. Sister Mary seemed to hint that that started after the "fight". She said he was being extremely difficult when he first came, that there was still a determined light in his eyes, and then suddenly...he's like this. It's like he's not there anymore.or he's hiding.but from what?"  
  
It was Ben who spoke up next. "Something must have happened, sir. Something that....that's broken him. It's like he just doesn't care anymore. When he looked at me, it was like he wasn't even seeing me. And when I looked in his eyes it was like looking into an empty glass. It's as if he's just a body, and his spirit is gone...it's left him... Like he's given up, but on what? And why? What could have done that to him, sir? Lucas is a tough kid. Something really bad must have happened."  
  
"Or something bad has always happened, and whatever happened at that orphanage was the final blow.it was all he could take," Jonathan said, his tone even, but laced with worry and sadness.  
  
They all looked at him, confused and wary. He sighed, lowering his voice.  
  
"None of us have forgotten Katie's, or rather Ben's accusation from last week. If his parents, his *father*, really has been abusing him his whole life, maybe the so called fight, was something more significant. Maybe it was the last straw for Lucas. He's a tough kid, but the human spirit can only take so much physical and emotional pain before it's overwhelmed..."  
  
The others were quiet, absorbing what the commander had said. Before anyone could comment, the teen returned, sat back down, and continued to stare at his plate. They all exchanged looks. Without words, they all knew for sure that they weren't giving up on him. They were going to find out *exactly* what caused this child to mistrust so much, and then to lose the fiery spirit that had made him who he was, and had kept him alive for all these years.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
For the next few days, the crew came by each afternoon and took Lucas out. They went for dinner, to the park, the shopping center, they even went to the local county fair. It was on this day that there was a slight change in Lucas.  
  
The blue eyed teen sat on a bench, watching Commander Ford win a teddy bear, which he gave to Commander Hitchcock. The teen smiled inwardly for the first time in over a week. Since they had showed up a few days before, he had not spoken once. He had felt nothing upon seeing the captain, and he had blocked out their voices, their gentle words. Lucas figured they'd give up and leave, and then he could continue on with his inner self destruction...  
  
However, his plans didn't work out as they continued to come back, and he found himself smiling at the two in front of him. A thought came from nowhere into his mind. *They make a cute couple.* His thoughts recently had been nothing but his whole shitty life replaying over and over through his head since that night at the orphanage. Today, however, with this very thought, he found himself snapping out of it slightly. He still refused to speak, or make eye contact, but his thoughts strayed from the horrible images of his past to the present.  
  
He looked to his left to see the doctor and the captain, who were seated beside him, sharing fries. Ben and Miguel were flirting up a storm with the hotdog stand girls, while Tim and Crocker were arguing over the logistics of Fair Ground games, and how they were rigged.  
  
He wanted to speak out, to join in on Tim and Crocker's conversation, to go flirt with the pretty hotdog girls, to conspire with Darwin on setting up the two commanders...to share fries with the doc and the captain...but he remembered the guard's words. He remembered his life...his worthless life. With an inward sigh, he sat back and watched life go on around him...without him.  
  
As they walked back to the orphanage, Lucas listened to Ben and Jonathan's petty banter, to Katie's frustrated plea for them to quit, to Kristin's quiet humming as she walked beside him. Everyone was making some sort of chatter or noise except him and the captain. The captain had his arm over the boy's shoulder, and for once, Lucas didn't shrug it off. He accepted it, like he accepted the fact that his life meant nothing...*he* meant nothing, to anyone. But then why did these people come back every day? Why did the captain have a gentle arm around his shoulder that was anything but threatening?  
  
They reached the steps. Lucas found that his chest hurt...they were going away again. Would they be back here tomorrow? Or was today's silence the final straw?  
  
They all hugged him, saying they'd be back tomorrow. Would they really?  
  
The commander approached.he was a man of his word. He offered Lucas a gentle hug, saying quietly, "We'll be back tomorrow, Lucas. I promise." He stepped away and turned to go as the captain approached. Ford was beside Ben, when Ben turned back and looked Lucas in the eye.  
  
"Lucas..." They were all silent as Ben took a breath, and then spoke firmly. "I don't know what you've been through in your life, buddy. Whatever it was was something I'm sure I could never imagine...but you're a tough kid, you're a survivor. Whatever happened recently must have been all you could take...and none of us blame you. Even the strongest can only take so much, but please Lucas, don't let it completely break you. It seems like it already has, but I'm not willing to give up on you.none of us are. Come back to us kid, we miss the old you....we love the old you.hell we just love you. Don't give up, alright buddy?" With that he turned away.  
  
Lucas was stunned. They suspected something of his past and they still kept coming, they still cared...they-  
  
"He's right kiddo," the captain spoke softly, standing before Lucas. He tilted the boy's face to look into the azure colored eyes, his own dark ones pleading. "We need you...I need you. You've filled a part of my life I never thought could be filled again. Don't leave me, pal. I don't think I could take another loss...I love you, kiddo." With that he hugged Lucas, and then turned to join the others.  
  
Lucas felt himself resurface. They wanted him? They loved him? Lucas heart filled with fear as he tried to call them back, but the words stuck in his throat. Sister Mary was approaching from behind him; they were several meters away now. *No! Don't leave,* his mind cried.  
  
Finally a whimper escaped his throat, causing Jonathan to turn around. For the first time in eleven years, Lucas cried.  
  
"Captain..." Jonathan said, taking a step back toward Lucas. A few tears slipped down Lucas' cheeks and he finally whispered out as the captain and the rest of the crew turned around.  
  
"Please...don't leave."  
  
Bridger rushed forward as Lucas collapsed in tears. "Don't leave me, please," he sobbed, as the captain gathered him in his arms.  
  
"Shhh, I'm not going anywhere kiddo. I'm right here." He rubbed a soothing hand over the teen's back, as the boy shook with sobs. It seemed to him as though the teen hadn't cried in years. The distraught youngster continued to cry, but tried in vain to wipe the tears away. "It's okay to cry, pal. It's fine," the captain assured, gently.  
  
"No, it's not," Lucas replied, voice hoarse with emotion.  
  
Bridger frowned into the boy's soft, golden colored hair. "Of course it is. Who ever told you it wasn't okay to cry?"  
  
There was a pause, and Lucas took a leap of faith in the people surrounding him. "My father..."  
  
The crew stiffened, but the captain remained cool.  
  
"Well he was wrong, kiddo. When was the last time you cried, pal?"  
  
Lucas sighed as the tears eased. He may not have cried in years, and he still had plenty to let out, but his father's words still affected him strongly.  
  
"Eleven years."  
  
The captain eyes widened. "You haven't cried since you were four years old? Lucas..."  
  
The Captain didn't know what to say. That just wasn't right. Was that even possible? Of course, he had never thought it possible anyone could abuse their own child, let alone a child as gentle natured as Lucas. He sighed, allowing a tear to slip down his own cheek. He supposed all things were possible, unfortunately both good *and* bad. Good won out this time. Lucas had come back to them, to him. Good was going to win out again, because he'd be damned if he was leaving the boy here for another second.  
  
He looked over the boy's shoulder, meeting Jonathan's eyes, which were suspiciously bright. Jonathan nodded, understanding his captain and friend's thoughts. He looked beyond the two figures still crouched before him and the others.  
  
"Sister Mary, I presume?"  
  
*TBC*  
  
Jaimi Copyright@2003 


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who left nice reviews. I really, truly appreciate them. Certainly wouldn't continue without them, but all the same, I'm sorry this is taking so long. Understand though, I prefer quality over speed, and I even think this was rushed and a bit poor, but hopefully it will suffice. Anyway, I'm in college at the moment, with lots of homework and practical work, so I don't know when the next update will be. However, I WILL FINISH THIS STORY! Thanks again everyone, you guys are fantastic.  
  
Jaimi  
  
Chapter 9  
  
"Sister Mary, I presume?"  
  
The Nun nodded, smiling at the crew, tears in her eyes. She'd heard Lucas' plea. His first words in almost a week. She'd actually been grateful to see the young man break down and cry.it meant his emotions were buried, but not yet dead.  
  
"Nice to finally meet you. I'm Commander Ford, this is Lt. Commander Hitchock, Doctor Westphalen, Chief Crocker, Chief Ortiz, Lt. O'Neill and Lt. Krieg. We're friends of Lucas'."  
  
"I know. He spoke of you.before." she trailed off, and they understood she meant before he had stopped talking.  
  
Jonathan nodded, smiling charmingly, as did Ben, who spoke up. "And the Captain has told us about you. You've been looking out for Lucas for us. We can't thank you enough, and would hate to ask anymore of you, but uh.I don't suppose you can pretend you never saw us...?"  
  
Sister Mary raised an eyebrow, as did the rest of the crew.  
  
"I would do that for what reason?" she asked with a smile, though she had an idea. It no doubt had something to do with Lucas' plea not to leave him.  
  
"To abide the wishes of a sweet kid? To do the right thing? You and I both know Lucas doesn't belong here. Let us take him with us. Maybe you can claim something about having permission from his Dad. It'll be impossible for them to deny it, cause they'd never get through to confirm whether he did or didn't-"  
  
"Leuitenant." Bridger spoke up, looking sternly at Krieg, though truly, the plan sounded damn good to him. "I applaud your imagination.I never plan to play poker with you. However, there must be another way besides bribing a Nun. I-"  
  
Suddenly his PAL beeped, and everyone went silent. Bridger had felt Lucas stiffen in his arms at the sudden noise, then relax as he recognized the familiar communication tool.  
  
Bridger motioned to Ben, who came over, and sat next to Lucas, so the Captain could pull away and open his PAL.  
  
"Bridger."  
  
"Nathan, it's me!" the voice of Admiral Noyce exclaimed.  
  
Nathan knew his crew would likely want to hear any news the admiral had. However, just in case it wasn't good, he didn't want Lucas to hear it. The Captain stood and walked several meters away to talk quietly with his old friend.  
  
"Any news, Bill?" he questioned urgently, as he stopped beside the wrought iron fence.  
  
"The appeal to reconsider putting Lucas back on board has gone through. The seaQuest will be docking for a month, while we work it out. I'm going to get the top scientists and big wigs who have met Lucas to propose on his behalf that he stay aboard seaQuest. In the mean time, I've managed to convince Wolenczak to allow you to be his guardian, to keep him in your care, while this is all going on. It took a lot of weaseling on my part Nathan, so I hope you haven't changed your mind."  
  
"Of course I haven't, Bill. You have no idea how great this news is to hear. You couldn't have called at a better time."  
  
"Why? What's wrong?"  
  
"Not now. I want to get Lucas out of here."  
  
"Stay in the area, Nathan. He can't be back on seaQuest yet, and Wolenczak didn't want him leaving the country.that means the main land. No hauling him off to your island."  
  
Nathan sighed. *And that would have been ideal in getting him to open up, a more relaxing atmosphere near the element he loves.*  
  
Instead he said, "All right, Bill. I don't suppose-"  
  
"I've booked you, and the senior crew, some rooms at the Plaza on the coast. I figured they'd want to be close at hand, but everyone else is welcome to either stay aboard seaQuest while she's docked, or head home. They've got to be back by the end of the month though. Whether Lucas is back aboard or not, the crew and YOU are."  
  
Nathan nodded, thankful for what they had going for them so far.  
  
"I understand. Thank you, Bill. This means a lot."  
  
It was Noyce's turn to nod. "Tell Lucas I'm rooting for him."  
  
"I will. Keep me posted."  
  
"Same to you, Nathan."  
  
Flipping his PAL off, Nathan looked back at his crew, including the fifteen year old who still looked pale, and not really himself, but no longer the shell of a human he had been less than an hour before. Smiling as Ben said something that got a hint of a smile from Lucas, Nathan headed back to his friends, to tell them all the good news.  
  
--------------------------  
  
Lucas looked around the room in disinterest. Most kids would be wowed by the large, spacious suite that he and the Captain would be staying in for the month. Lucas however, was used to it. Though his home life had always been rough, abusive, emotionally neglectful.sometimes even physically neglectful, in that on the helps day off, he'd often had to cook for himself, even at five years of age, he had never lacked in material things. His parents were rich. He'd lived in a big house, with all the newest technology and entertainment.  
  
He'd been to more of his parent's social events then he cared to remember. Though his parents despised him for "what he'd done", for "being born", they could not ignore the fact that he was bright, charming and quite handsome.the perfect tool to lure in potential funders who oohed and awed over the cute little genius with the sweet smile.  
  
And dancing, oh yes, Lucas knew every dance there ever was for such events. His father had often made him dance with the daughters of potential partners, and even their mothers and grandmothers.  
  
Lucas sighed in remembrance. He supposed it wasn't so bad.those people had always been nicer to him than his own parents.  
  
Looking over as the Captain set his seabag down and tipped the bell boy, he felt another wave of guilt hit like a tsunami. Despite the relief at being out of the orphanage, he knew he was the reason seaQuest was docked and her crew grounded for a month way ahead of schedule.possibly taking out of their next docking, and messing up people's plans. He was always messing up people's plans.  
  
"Hey, Kiddo..."  
  
Lucas jumped, but calmed remembering where he was and who he was with.  
  
He smiled weakly as he turned to the Captain who looked concerned, but said nothing. Lucas knew he'd noticed Lucas jump from time to time, and silently berated himself. He recalled what Ben had said earlier, what they suspected of his past. It was his fault of course, everything was. He couldn't even manage not to jump out of his skin when someone moved suddenly or surprised him, making them suspicious.  
  
*Moron,* he thought. *You should have been more careful.do you WANT them to know. To REALLY know.?* He paused, considering. "*Do I?*"  
  
"Do you what?" Lucas jumped again, forgetting that the Captain had called to him moments before, and then realized he'd spoken the last out loud.  
  
He blushed. "Nothing, sorry."  
  
Nathan smiled, slowly and gently taking the teen's arm. "Come on, Pal. Ben and Miguel suggested we head back to the fair. They have rides lit up at night and that "spectacular" light circus."  
  
Lucas smiled back, heart lifting a little. Maybe he was a little old for fairs and circus', but he'd never really been to any when he was younger.his parents never took him. When he'd been there earlier that day, in his earlier state, he'd barely taken in the surroundings. Maybe this time he could really enjoy himself.  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Lucas smiled as the crew made their way toward the circus. They'd had fun. Though Lucas was still quiet and withdrawn, he had smiled for them and spoke when spoken too. Things were looking up.  
  
As they rounded the corner of the fair grounds, past the stables, they came to the entrance, a huge arch, alight with flames. This circus was all about a light show with animals.lights, firecrackers and flames. And flames were a problem. Ever since that day, when he was left alone with his sister.that fateful day she died, and the day a year later where he himself nearly died in a fire set by his own father, the child had been deathly afraid of fire.even the flicker of a candle, the constant reminder of his failure, troubled him.  
  
He slowed down as they approached, looking wildly from side to side. Wasn't there another way in? The crowds rushed through, unharmed. It was well and safely maintained, with a wide glass shield that kept the flames at bay, from being any danger to the fair goers. That changed nothing for Lucas. Flames were flames, horrible and deadly. HE would NOT walk through there. Seven meters back, he stopped and stared.  
  
Red, orange, hints of blue and green. Perilous beauty. Oh how he hated it. His heart pounded in his chest. It took up all residence of sound in his ears, but for the silent roar he imagined from the fire. It wasn't there but he heard it.heard the cribs wood crackle, the silk drapes sizzle and pop. And that's all he heard.  
  
His friends voices faded, their questioning looks unnoticed.  
  
"Lucas? What are you staring at? Come one, we're gonna miss the show.Luke?" Ben looked at his friend, and noticed the terror, bright in the large blue orbs. Terror of what? Ben followed Lucas' gaze, as did the others.  
  
"The arch?" Crocker asked, brow furrowed. "The fire? It's okay, Lucas. You know better than any of us how safe it is. Humor me kid! Rattle off exactly how the flame can't hurt us through those coverings." Crocker was teasing, attempting to get Lucas' attention, but the boy didn't appear to hear him.to hear any of them. He'd gone paler, and if they looked closely, they saw his hands twitching.  
  
Suddenly, just as Bridger reached to touch his shoulder, even willing to startle him to get him out of this trance like state, Lucas bolted. They all started in surprise, watching him run into the stable, before snapping out of their own shock, and hurriedly following him.  
  
They found him at the far end of the stable, standing beside the stall of a large dapple grey horse. He was trembling, and didn't appear to hear their approach. He was leaning his stomach against the stall door, his face buried in the horse's neck. The horse eyed the strangers, before gently nudging the frightened stranger that stroked her long powerful neck.  
  
Finally hearing them come to a stop behind him, he turned towards them, but his eyes were fixed on the floor, his right cheek against the horse's left, while his right hand came up to stroke the horse's velvety nose.  
  
Carefully stepping forward, Bridger took Lucas' free hand. "Talk to me, Pal."  
  
Silence. The crew didn't think he was going to speak. However, Lucas found himself speaking as if by another's will. He didn't want to tell them this, did he?  
  
Whether he did or not.he did anyway.  
  
"I was four.she was .she was just a baby. And I killed her."  
  
The crew shared wide eyed looks. Jonathan spoke up first. "Who? What? Whatever happened, I'm sure it wasn't-"  
  
"I was supposed to watch her. She was crying. I couldn't quiet her, so I ran downstairs to call the neighbor. I left her alone. She screamed and cried, banged her crib, and knocked a candle over. Seconds.it took seconds. I ran back, the entire room was in flames.it hurt to breathe, it was so hot. But she needed me. I'd already failed her once, I couldn't fail her again."  
  
The crew once again shared astonished looks. He blamed himself? Where were the child's parents? Why was a four year old being responsible for a baby?  
  
"I went to pick her up.she threw herself in my arms.she trusted me so much. She was too heavy.or I wasn't strong enough. She threw me off balance. I started towards the door. But something fell on me.and then, as I lay there, and couldn't move.it stopped. She stopped.she wasn't crying anymore."  
  
Tears were in Kristin and Katie's eyes, and old pain and guilt shone in Lucas'.  
  
"Who was she?" Jonathan asked quietly.  
  
There was a long, tense pause. The crew waited patiently for their friend to speak.  
  
".my sister."  
  
TBC.  
  
Note: Recall this is AU people, so no paying attention to Lucas' lack of fear in the Captains's cabin in "Knight Of Shadows". 


End file.
